Courtesy: The Chive

*Let me preface this post by saying yes, I know I should spread out these blog entries so as to keep the interest level up – but I’m not really a prolific writer – just be glad you get these rare glimpses into the mind of one so wonderful.*

## Joke #1

There’s a Marine, an Airforce Commando, a Navy Seal and a Green Beret sitting around a campfire telling each-other how mean and tough they are.

The Marine says “I can swim 50 miles and bite the head off a live chicken. One Marine is worth 5 other men.”

The Airforce Commando says “I can clear runways one-handed and kill a man with my bare hands. One Airforce Commando is worth 10 other men.”

The Navy Seal says “Yeah? Well I can dive up to 90 feet without air, and I’m an expert in demolitions. One Navy Seal is worth 13 other men.”

The Green Beret just sat there all this time saying nothing, stirring the fire with his dick.

## Joke #2

A mathematician and an engineer are sitting beside each other on a plane. The mathematician turns & says to the engineer, “Let’s play a game – a battle of wits. I’ll ask you a question, and if you can’t answer it you give me $5. You ask me a question, and if I can’t answer it I’ll give you $5″.

The engineer politely declines, thinking a silly competition like this is beneath him.

“Fine,” says the mathematician, “for every question you can’t answer, you still give me $5, but for every question I get wrong, I’ll give you $50″.

The engineer quickly agrees.

“Ok I’ll go first” says the mathematician. “What is the distance between the Earth and the Moon?”.

The engineer quietly pulls out his wallet and gives the mathematician $5.

Smiling, the mathematician says, “Ok, now your turn”.

“What goes up a hill with 4 legs, but come downs with 3″, asks the engineer.

The mathematician thinks for a minute. Thinks for another minute. Then pulls out his laptop & starts searching the Internet. The engineer tucks into his chair for a nap.

An hour later he’s woken by the mathematician. “Here’s your $50. I have no idea what the answer is. What goes up a hill with 4 legs but comes down with 3?!?”.

The engineer pulls out his wallet, puts the mathematician’s $50 in his wallet, pulls out another $5 and hands it to the mathematician.