Jan 30

So, after a long(er than I wanted) hiatus, we’re back.

Last week I got an email from Slicehost saying I’d transferred an extra 264 GB on my account.

[Insert Scoobie Doo sound here], I said.

Turns out my server had been hacked to run IRC.  Bleh.

So rather than pay ($0.30 * 264.change GB) $79.43 per day, I had them shut the thing down.  I’m now hosted through MediaTemple.  Not to say that Slicehost was bad (though they had crap for usage reporting – for shame Slicehost), but Slicehost required me to administrate my own server.  Well, that sounds bad.  Their whole point is to allow people to administer their own servers – I knew what I was getting into.  Anyway, like I said, I’m now on MediaTemple.  My currently-enjoying-Mexico father had to update the DNS to point to the new servers, as he owns the domain (for now), not me.

Long story short, I’m glad to be back.  It certainly wasn’t my intent to be such a blog-tease.

As per usual, here’s a funny picture.  Not of cats though, of nerds & boobs:


Oh, I should also mention that any of the media I uploaded in the past is now lost – anything I’ve linked to from other sites should still be around.

Also, there’s a link to the Entries RSS feed at the bottom of this page.  If you want, you can subscribe to that & be updated immediately when I post something new, rather than having to come back every 12 minutes (pDan – I know you do) to check.

Jan 23

Most of you know I like cats – especially when they do stupid/crazy/funny stuff.  So here’s  a compilation I just watched.

Jan 21

Not really, but I figured I hadn’t posted anything in a few days, so I should probably keep the dogs at bay & post something. I’m hoping my drive to get the blog up & going again wasn’t just for 3 or 4 posts. Who knows.

The most exciting thing that happened to me today was chipping the ice from my sidewalk & really, REALLY tiring out my arm.

Wait, scratch that. I got my picture taken by the Camrose Canadian because I (and friends) made a big green head on a hillside on Sunday. That wasn’t all that exciting though – next week will be when it comes out & I have throngs of fans. Ya. That’ll be sweet.

UPDATE:  Jen’s posted pictures of the Big Green Head in progress.  See ‘em here

Because they’re funny, here’s another cat:

funny pictures of cats with captions

Jan 13

Seriously?  An American politican says she’ll co-operate & play nice with other countries rather than bully them around, and it makes international headline news?  Ya – she’s a real American hero.  A forward thinker like no other.

In other news:

  • A local man pledges to use a spoon while eating soup.
  • A woman in La Paz promises to use water while bathing.
  • Restaurant chains across the nation are enacting policies to stop spit from going in your fries.

One word: holyhell

(To be fair, this basically means she’s saying that she’ll behave like a U.S. Secretary of State should behave.  The absurdity is that it’s news, not that she’s pledging to act properly.)

Jan 13

Had this sent to me by a friend:

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, “Let me explain the problem science has with religion.” The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

You’re a Christian, aren’t you, son?
Yes sir,” the student says.

So you believe in God?

Is God good?
Sure! God’s good.

Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?

Are you good or evil?
The Bible says I’m evil.

The professor grins knowingly. “Aha! The Bible!” He considers for a moment. “Here’s one for you. Let’s say there’s a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?

Yes sir, I would.

So you’re good…!
I wouldn’t say that.

But why not say that? You’d help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn’t.

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. “He doesn’t, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?

The student remains silent.

No, you can’t, can you?” the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

Let’s start again, young fella. Is God good?
Er…yes,” the student says.

Is Satan good?
The student doesn’t hesitate on this one. “No.

Then where does Satan come from?
The student falters. “From God

That’s right. God made Satan, didn’t he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?
Yes, sir.

Evil’s everywhere, isn’t it? And God did make everything, correct?


So who created evil?” The professor continued, “If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.

Again, the student has no answer. “Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?

The student squirms on his feet. “Yes.

So who created them?

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. “Who created them?” There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. “Tell me,” he continues onto another student. “Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?

The student’s voice betrays him and cracks. “Yes, professor, I do.

The old man stops pacing. “Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?

No sir. I’ve never seen Him.

Then tell us if you’ve ever heard your Jesus?
No, sir, I have not.

Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of Jesus Christ, or God for that matter?

No, sir, I’m afraid I haven’t.
Yet you still believe in him?

According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Nothing,” the student replies. “I only have my faith.
Yes, faith,” the professor repeats. “And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.

At the back of the room another student stands quietly for a moment before asking a question of His own. “Professor, is there such thing as heat?

Yes,” the professor replies. “There’s heat.

And is there such a thing as cold?
Yes, son, there’s cold too.
No sir, there isn’t.

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. “You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don’t have anything called ‘cold’. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees.

Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?

Yes,” the professor replies without hesitation. “What is night if it isn’t darkness?

You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? That’s the meaning we use to define the word.

In reality, darkness isn’t. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. “So what point are you making, young man?

Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.

The professor’s face cannot hide his surprise this time. “Flawed? Can you explain how?

You are working on the premise of duality,” the student explains. “You argue that there is life and then there’s death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can’t even explain a thought.

It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.

Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.

Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.

The student looks around the room. “Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor’s brain?” The class breaks out into laughter.

Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor’s brain, felt the professor’s brain, touched or smelt the professor’s brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.

So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. “I guess you’ll have to take them on faith.

Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,” the student continues. “Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?

Now uncertain, the professor responds, “Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

To this the student replied, “Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.

The professor sat down.

Jan 13

I got this list emailed to me by a friend of mine.  To be honest I couldn’t believe he sent it to me – I laughed & agreed with most of these, but I didn’t think he’d be the kind of person to send this out to a mailing list.

Anyway, enough prattle:

Battle of the Sexes: Men Strike Back

  1. How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
  2. Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
    Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
  3. Why do women have smaller feet than men?
    It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
  4. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
    When she starts a sentence with ‘A man once told me…’
  5. How do you fix a woman’s watch?
    You don’t; there is a clock on the oven.
  6. Why do men pass gas more than women?
    Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
  7. If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
  8. What’s worse than a male chauvinist pig?
    A woman who won’t do what she’s told.
  9. I married a Miss Right.
    I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
  10. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90%.
    It’s called a Wedding Cake.
  11. Why do men die before their wives?
    They want to.
Jan 12

While I was walking downtown today, I had a (what I like to think) uniquely Canadian moment.

A homeless man walked up to me & asked if I could help him out with some spare change.  I told him I didn’t have any (which I didn’t).  He replied with “OK, thanks”.  And here’s where it gets really Canadian.  I said “Thanks” back.

Why did I do that?  I don’t know – maybe the Great White North coursing through my veins.  Ya – that’s probably it.